Becoming Soft Again: A Return to Myself

Why healing sometimes looks like slowing down, journaling, and reclaiming the parts of us we abandoned to survive.

There was a time I believed that survival was the highest form of strength.

That pushing through, holding everyone up, multitasking while smiling, and never asking for help were markers of a capable woman. That exhaustion was a badge of honour. That silence meant grace. That emotional numbness was necessary.

But survival has a cost.

It cost me moments of joy I couldn’t feel. It cost me attunement to my own body, which I often ignored unless it screamed. It cost me softness, the kind of softness that isn’t weakness but wisdom.

In the quiet corners of my life, in the aftermath of caregiving, grief, childbirth, disorientation, and growth, I began to ask different questions:
 What if rest is holy?
 What if softness is safety?
 What if journaling is not a luxury but a lifeline?

I had spent years caring for others — my children, my mother, my community. But I hadn’t made space to care for myself in the same way. I hadn’t asked myself what I needed. I hadn’t allowed myself to just be.

And so, I began again, gently.

Not with a 10-step plan. Not with a new routine.
 But with a pen, a journal, and a promise:
 To listen to my body.
 To let myself feel.
 To honour the truth, even if it’s messy.
 To return to myself.

This practice of journaling, checking in, and softening became part of how I healed. It’s how I began to regulate my nervous system after years of tension. It’s how I made peace with the mirror, with my emotions, and with the losses I never fully processed. It’s how I whispered to myself, “You’re safe now.”

Why Journaling Matters for Us

As Black women, we are often taught to be strong. To endure. To not break. But this narrative robs us of our humanity. It doesn’t leave space for fear, confusion, tenderness, or fatigue. It glorifies suffering. It silences our inner voice.

Styled Soul was born to resist that.

Journaling helps us:

  • Slow down and breathe between the demands.
  • Give language to emotions that live in our body
  • Track patterns, cycles, triggers, and healing
  • Release shame, grief, and silent rage.

Remember joy — not as performance, but as nourishment.

Introducing the Styled Soul Wellness Journal

Introducing the Styled Soul Wellness Journal
This journal was created as a companion to your healing journey. It is not prescriptive, it’s spacious. It meets you where you are.

Inside, you’ll find:

  • Gentle prompts to help you reconnect with yourself.
  • Space to name what hurts — and what helps.
  • Reflections on rest, rhythm, softness, and becoming whole again.
  • A place to anchor your mornings or wind down your nights

Whether you’re navigating grief, rediscovering joy, or simply learning how to take care of yourself again, this journal serves as a reminder that you are worthy of softness, too.

A Final Word

Becoming soft again is not about erasing what you’ve survived.
 It’s about choosing to no longer live in a state of survival.

It’s about allowing beauty, quiet, care, and curiosity to return to your life.
 It’s about honouring your body, your spirit, your becoming.

It’s about saying: I deserve ease. I deserve rest. I deserve to be held.

Let this journal, and this space, hold you.

You are not alone here.